Friday, November 16, 2012


 Some other "frequently asked questions" we get about our adoption:

Why so many orphans in China?

Each year, tens of thousands of children are abandoned throughout China, the majority being girls.  There are many factors that contribute to the orphan crisis in China. It is really hard to answer this question in a sentence or two, as the situation is complex.  In the 1970s, China instituted the “One Child Policy”, limiting couples to only one child. When this policy collided with the cultural preference for boys, the result was the abandonment of many girls. Although it may be due to the long time cultural importance of having a son first, sometimes the reason is much more practical.  Much of China’s population live in China’s rural areas and rely on males to farm the land.  When they marry, boys stay with their parents and care for them in old age.  Girls, on the other hand, marry and leave their families and take on the responsibility of helping care for the husband’s parents. In some ways, boys are China's version of Social Security.

If a baby (male or female) is sick or has a defect at birth, they may be abandoned. Parents who will only have one child don't want to settle for a less than perfect one. The Chinese are not very accepting of people with physical disabilities. Often it is perceived that a family is cursed if their child has a visible abnormality.  They are not allowed to attend school and it can b
e difficult for them to find employment. 

Also, even if the child is very loved and wanted, they may be abandoned if they are sick and the family is unable to pay for the child's medical care. Medical care must be paid for upfront in China, and it is very difficult for many Chinese families to do this. Couples may abandon their child so that they can be taken to the orphanage and receive better medical care than the family can provide. 

What happens after you receive a referral?

When Rob and I get the call from our agency that there is a referral for us, we will be sent a file to review.  This file should include some basic medical information (i.e. age, weight), some developmental information, and a photo.  We will have anywhere from 48 hours to @1 week to review this file.  We then have the option to accept the referral, or to turn it down.  If we accept the referral, we will need to complete more paperwork before we can travel, and that can take anywhere from another 4-6 months.  When that is completed, we will make an approximate 2-week trip to China to meet our daughter and bring her home.  At this point, we do not plan on bringing our other kids with us. 

Why China?

Because that is where our daughter  is.  For me, it has always been China.  I know there are children everywhere, including here in the US, who need families, but we strongly believe our daughter/sister  is  in China right now.  We think about her every day.  We wonder how old she is, if she is receiving good care, and if she is happy.  We talk about where she will sit in our car, where her place at the dinner table will be, and where she will sleep.  We wonder how old she will be, and what she will look like.  I can't speak for Rob on this one, but I dream about her all the time.  I dream about meeting her, holding her, and loving  her.  We are all anxiously waiting for the day we find out who she is.

To close, I wanted to attach this wonderful blog post:


  1. Hi Maureen! I'm so honored you found and have been reading my blog. Thank you so much! I'm thrilled for your entire family, and wish you all the best in the rest of this journey! I'll be keeping tabs on your progress and celebrating with you!

  2. Hi Maureen! My name is Amber and I live in MN. I'm so excited that I found your blog. I was laughing reading about how you brought up adopting to your husband because it was SO similar to me and my husband. I have been reading adoption blogs for years and always have found them so interesting. I've always thought adoption was an amazing thing, but never had intentions of doing it myself. I have two young kids and we are hoping to get pregnant with our third in the next 6 months. My husband has been SO adamant that 3 was it for our family and after I had 2 I wholeheartedly agreed. I always joked that since I have become so certain that 3 was it, God would make me pregnant with twins to remind me that I don't make those decisions :) Instead He has completely changed my heart and FAR more surprising, my husband's as well! I was reading one of my adoption blogs, and suddenly I thought why not!? We have so much, and so much breaks my heart that any child should not have a mom and dad. I looked at domestic and at other countries and for some reason I just keep coming back to China. I asked my husband what he would think about us adopting a little girl from China...thinking for certain he would shoot that down and I would have to let it go... and he said " Yeah, I could see us doing that"!!?? I was shocked! Now I cannot get enough of these China adoption blogs. Most have already been through the entire process, so I was happy to find yours where you are still going through it. We would still like to have a third child, and start the process when he or she is about 1 and a half. In the time we wait we will be saving money and I will be going crazy wondering who our daughter is :) It gives me goosebumps and it makes me emotional to think of going to get her one day. Anyways...I just wanted to say hi and let you know I am reading. So sorry for the novel here...I couldn't find an email address. I will keep you and your family and your adoption process in my prayers! I cannot wait to see when you get a referral and who your baby girl is :)
    Hope you have a fabulous Thanksgiving!