Thursday, December 27, 2012

In Their Own Words

With all the activities of the holidays, I have not had much time to devote to updating my blog.  While I work on our my next update, I thought I would share with you two videos that touched me deeply.  Both of these families have adopted daughters from China, and these videos tell their stories "in their own words".

 (If you are viewing this update in an email, you may not be able to view the videos. You may need to go to: and view in your browser)

Gracie is now home and thriving with her wonderful family and you can see them here at:

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The post I did not want to write

On Tuesday afternoon  we received the long awaited call from our agency that they had a file of a little girl for us to review.  I can't go into much detail, but we had to turn down the referral. She just wasn't our girl.

I was heartbroken, guilt-stricken and disappointed.  But, I feel peace with our decision and know that is was the right decision for our family.

We know our girl is out there somewhere, and we will continue to wait for her.

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Adoption seems to generate a lot of fear in people.  We fear what we don't understand.  I guess that is some of what I hope to accomplish with this blog:  helping people understand the choice to adopt, because the more we understand something, the less we will fear it.

Rob and I were afraid.  We started talking about adopting in May of 2011 and did not send our application in until April of 2012.  What did we do all that time?  I look back and realize we spent those months trapped by our fears.  I know in my head that time was necessary.  We HAD to be on the same page.  We needed time to gather information and make SURE we wanted to do this.  In my heart I'm mad we "wasted" that time letting our fears rule us.  And we had all kinds of fears:  

Fear of the financial burden of adopting; and then supporting four kids
Fear of the sacrifices we might have to make along the way
Fear of how it could affect our marriage
Fear of the impact on our kids
Fear of the unknown diagnoses this child could come home with
Fear of the emotional difficulties she could have

I think probably one of the biggest concerns we had was "disrupting" this:

Slowly, as we were able to push our fears away, we were able to think of all that we might miss if we let them take over.  Worried about disrupting our kids? Of course we were.  But honestly, we worried about that every time we had a child.  Each of my kids was a "disruption" to my life, and to each other's lives.  And what a beautiful disruption they were!!  You take a risk every time you have a child.  We can't imagine our lives without each of our children.  If we had let fear rule us, we might not have the 3 of them.  What if we would have missed out on them?  They have each changed us, and they have changed each other, for the better.  We wondered,  what if we say no? What might we be missing out on?  We don't really know what this is all going to look like now, 5 years from now, or 10 years from now.  But saying no just because we couldn't be certain how it would all play out felt, well, cowardly.

For us, the ability to move past our fears came down to this:  having faith and having hope.  Rob and I have a lot of faith.  We have faith in our kids and believe that they will be great big brothers/sister to their new sister.  We have faith in each other and in our marriage. I feel like with Rob, I can do just about anything.  And we share a belief that we are not in this alone, and that belief helped us to get to a place where we had the courage to do this:

Once we sent this in, it was like a weight was lifted.  We did it!  We made the decision.  And we were able to move from living by our fears, to living by our hopes.  The hope that we can change someone's life.  The hope that our lives will be changed.  The hope that our children will benefit from being a part of this.  The hope that it will all work out.  Let me tell you, this is SUCH a better way to live!!  We are finding so much more joy living by these hopes instead of stuck by our fears.

I can't say that I don't still have fears.  In the period of waiting we are in right now, sometimes the fears creep back in.  They are different fears, but they are still there.  That is just life.  There will always be something to be afraid of.  When I feel the fears, I draw on  my faith and my hope, and then my courage is back.  And it allows me to believe in something even better than what I already have.

"All our dreams can come true, if we just have the courage to pursue them"
-Walt Disney 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Half the Sky

Half the Sky is a wonderful organization working hard to change the lives of orphans in China.  This organization could use our help.  A few months ago, Half the Sky was featured on the "Today Show".  If you have some time, this video clip (under 5 minutes) is worth a watch.  Not only will it tell you more about HTS , but it will give you some insight into what is happening in orphanages in China, and what HTS is doing to try and help:

Half the Sky is trying to win up to one million dollars to continue their work on behalf of China's orphans.  They need votes.  I would love to help them get some.  If you are interested in helping, please click on the link below to vote for them by Tuesday, December 4th. From their website:

"Vote for Half the Sky between Tuesday Nov 27 and Tuesday Dec 4 to help us win up to $1 million at the Chase American Giving Awards.

Please help us continue our work to enhance the lives of orphaned children throughout China.
 You can vote here:, or here: 

"Some children know what it is like to be loved.  Vote for Half the Sky so more children will know what it is like to be loved".