One Month

One month ago today, in a hotel room on the other side of the world, my life was changed.

One month ago today, Rob and I met, held, and fell in love with our 4th child.

not happy to meet us

In some ways it seems like we have been together much longer than a month. In other ways, it seems hard to believe it has already been a month.

What amazes me is how, after just a month, is is hard to remember life without her.

When we met Vivian, she could hardly walk, much less run.   When we met Vivian, smiles were few and far between.  When we met Vivian, for almost an entire week, she did not make one sound.  Not one.  And she did not have any words.  She was TERRIFIED of the bath and screamed when we put her in.  When we met Vivian, she did not understand how to hold hands, snuggle or give affection.  She did not trust us, and we're not even sure if she liked us.  And her three siblings?  She wasn't so sure about them, either.

Today, this child is blossoming!  She smiles all day long.  She is walking and running and this week, has started going up and down stairs!  She is making all kinds of sounds and now says, "uh-oh", "ba ba", "da da", "ma ma", and "all done"!  She can give '5' and wave hello and goodbye.  Now she loves her little bath in the sink.

She has learned to give kisses, hold hands and snuggle.  She trusts Rob and I and we think she even likes us now:)  She definitely likes her siblings.  Yesterday, James left for his first play date since we have been home.  Vivian cried when he left.  She loves playing with the three of them and they love her.

One month in, I love her as much as I loved my other three children after being home with them for a month. It is no different.  They came to me in a hospital; she came to me in a hotel.  Now, these are just details. She has taught us that HOW our kids become ours doesn't really matter.  What matters is that they ARE OURS.

And, just like with my other three kids, after one month of loving her, I absolutely can't imagine my life without her.

Not flesh of my flesh

Nor bone of my bone

but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute

You didn't grow under my heart

but in it.