A Vivian update

Time for an update!!  It has been a while since I have done an update on Vivian.  She is a busy girl these days!! 

First off, preschool is going great!  The first few weeks were tough and involved a lot of crying in the mornings on the way to school.  Now there are no more tears on school days and she is always such a happy girl when I pick her up.  She is playing and painting and singing with her "friends" and all the those things kids do at preschool.  She is even learning to pump on a swing!

We celebrated our first Chinese New Year together with some very special friends and had a blast.

Vivian is still loving her ballet class.  I stand just outside the door so she is very happy during ballet because she can see me the entire time.  She is in a class with girls a bit younger than her and it is a good fit.  It was observation day last week so I was able to go in and take a few pictures of our little ballerina.

She has also started gymnastics.  Kate is taking classes and every week Vivian would cry to go with her.  She would see Kate getting ready and would go find an old leotard of Kate's and put it on and ask to do "nastics".  So finally I gave in and signed her up.  As long as I stay within her eye sight, she has a ball!  She is in a class with girls her own age and so they are a little more advanced than her right now.  But, I have no doubt she will catch up quickly.

 

 

Had to include this picture because it shows how small Vivian is compared to her peers

 

 

 We had a follow up appointment with her pediatric cardiologist, who reported her heart is "perfect". 

 

 

 In the rest of her free time Vivi is just enjoying life and all things that come with being 3 years old.  Still eating everything and anything.  Her language improves every day and she is really talking a lot.  She is loving the warmer weather and has learned to ride bikes and scooters and big wheels.

 

Like many other 3 year olds she has decided she does not need a nap anymore.  I was hoping napping would last a bit longer, but oh well.  She has also learned to climb out of her pack-and-play (that was NOT a skill I was anxious for her to learn) so she is now in a "big girl" bed. Luckily, she sleeps like a champ so the transition has not been an issue.  She is working on perfecting the art of throwing a fit when someone tells her no (she would be better at her "fit throwing" except that not many people in this house tell her no). She still hates if I am out of her sight and has not gotten any better with babysitters, so we stay close to home most of the time.   All in all, she is just a typical toddler and, in our opinion, is doing awesome.

 

I am so enjoying this time with her.  It is fun to have a 3 year old around again.  There was a time when I thought I was done with preschool and naps and first ballet classes and so I can appreciate being here because I know from my older three that this "season" will end just as quickly as it began.  This time of Vivian being home with me will be over before I know it.

 

 

I appreciate that right now Vivian is happy.  She spends her days, like most 3 year olds, without a worry in the world. 

 

Sometimes I can't help but worry about what the next "phase" of life might bring.  As Vivian grows and matures and becomes more aware of her story, I wonder what that will mean for her and for us.  Right now things are so SIMPLE.  One day they will not be.  One day she will ask me questions.  Questions like "why" and "how" and questions that I don't have all the answers to and questions I can't think about right now without ending up in tears.

 

 

 

 

I WANT her to ask these questions.  She NEEDS to ask these questions.  I hope she will always feel that she can ask Rob and I these questions.  I just worry about responding in the "right" way.  I want to have the perfect words and the best explanations, but I just don't know what they are. 

Mostly, I want her to know that for all the things I DON'T know,  I DO know how much I love her.  I know how much Rob loves her and how much the kids love her and how much her grandparents and her aunts and uncles and cousins love her.  That is the one thing I am absolutely certain of.

 

 

"oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple"

                                                                                     -Taylor Swift 





My new "gig" (Love Without Boundaries)

“Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It's the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. ” 

― Frederick Buechner

If you have been following my blog for a while, you may remember that a few weeks ago I wrote this post about coming home from China with a broken heart. I came home with a feeling that I wanted and needed to do something more for those children left behind.  A feeling that no, there cannot be peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy for these children. 

I did not really know what that "something" would be.  I contacted some friends involved in orphan care in China and offered my help, and submitted volunteer applications to some of my favorite organizations who work with orphans in China.  For weeks, I heard nothing back.

Until a few weeks ago when I received an email from Love Without Boundaries.  They had found their way to my volunteer application and had an opening they felt I would be a good fit for.  I was beyond excited.

If you are not familiar with Love Without Boundaries and the work they do in China, you should be. They are AMAZING.  If you are on Facebook, I strongly encourage you to "like" the LWB page. Do it as soon as you are done reading this.  You will find both heartwarming and heartbreaking stories of the amazing ways they are working to help orphaned and impoverished children in China in your news feed everyday.

But what you will not see on your news feed is the even more amazing things that are going on behind-the-scenes.  Since joining the LWB team I have been absolutely amazed and inspired by the incredible amount of time, energy and love all of the volunteers put into serving these children.  EVERY SINGLE child in EVERY SINGLE program is known and loved by these volunteers.  It is truly the most incredible group of people doing the most incredible things and changing the lives of these children every day! I am so honored to be a part (albeit a very small part) of their team.  It is being a part of a group of people who share this same feeling that there can never really be peace and joy for us until there is peace and joy finally for these precious children.

So, what is my small part?  Well, one of the things LWB does is bring education to orphans who otherwise would have no hope at an education.  Many people do not realize that orphans in China are rarely educated.  Children with any kind of special/medical need are not permitted to attend public school and receive no form of education.  Love Without Boundaries is working to change this through the “Believe in Me” school program.  These Believe in Me (BIM) schools go into orphanages and train teachers and set up classrooms and serve children  (mostly special needs children) who may not otherwise have a chance of attending school and receiving an education.  Instead of sitting in their cribs or orphanage rooms all day, these children are able to attend school and spend their day playing and learning and interacting with their classmates and teachers.  This is an incredible, life-changing experience for these well-deserving children.  I only wish Vivian could have experienced something like this instead of spending 22 hours a day in her crib.
 

I am the proud coordinator of the newest Believe in Me school located in the Lanzhou orphanage.  You can read more about this school and see a few of these adorable kids in the link below.  There are 34 students and all 34 of these children will need sponsors in order to continue their education.

I am including the official blog post from the LWB web page below.  In this post there is a link to the sponsorship page.  There are a few kids from the Lanzhou school up on the page right now, and as we (hopefully) find sponsors for these kids, we will feature other students in the school.

I would LOVE it if some of my blog readers would consider sponsoring one of these kids.  You can sponsor a child at whatever amount you are comfortable with on a monthly basis, or you can give a one-time donation to a child.  Either way you will then be given quarterly updates and pictures of the child you are sponsoring. 

I can't wait to watch how these adorable students grow and change and blossom.  I am so excited to be given the chance to be small part of bringing some joy into their lives.  I hope some of you will consider being a part of this with me.  If you are interested, please click on the link below.  If you have any questions I would love to answer them.  Please feel free to leave a comment on this post and make sure to leave an email address for me to respond to.

http://www.lwbcommunity.org/learning-in-lanzhou

 

Just one of the guys

As I was going through and organizing some pictures the other night, I noticed how many pictures I have of Vivian playing with the boys.  And not just my boys -- other boys.  Yes, she and Kate spend the majority of the time together.  Their relationship has really grown and I need to do a separate blog post about that.  However, Vivian really, really enjoys hanging with the boys and their friends.  And the sweetest part about it?

The boys seem to love it too.

I love my kids' friends.  They both have really great friends.  From the day we brought Vivian home, their friends have been interested in her and incredibly sweet to her.

These are the boys we carpool with.  Vivian loves them.  This was one of the first times Vivian was in the car and I yelled into  the back of the car for someone to help get Vivian out

Enjoying some baseball at the park with the boys.

This is one morning when my oldest had his best friend spend the night.  Very sweet that two 5th grade boys spent their morning trying to teach Vivian how to catch. 

We have great neighbors and our neighbors have great kids.  There is a really fun group of boys that congregate at our house many afternoons to play football or basketball. 

Vivian used to hang inside with me, but over time she has gotten more and more used to this crowd and now she thinks she is one of them.  They include her and let her run around with them and it is very sweet.

 

 

 These days, whatever the boys and their friends are doing....Vivian must do also.



 

 

 

Earlier this week we had snow!!  The kids were out of school and had a blast playing and sledding. Vivian loved it.   She was out there all morning, hanging with the boys, of course.

 

 

 



 

But, at the end of the day, as much as she may like the boys hanging around our house, her three favorite boys are still the ones she lives with. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She Plays!

When Vivian first arrived home one of the things we noticed about her was she did not seem to understand how to "play".  The first time we gave her a baby doll she did not have a clue what to do with it.  We now know that there were few to no toys in the orphanage, and we also know she had little to no time out of her crib to learn to play, so it all makes sense.  She has struggled these 6 months to figure out how to "play".  She basically just likes to spend her days following me around.  She rarely gets busy playing with toys.  She will do some puzzles and has gravitated to some baby toys, but not the things you would expect a 3 year old to play with.  We have a playroom with an easel, a drawing table, a kitchen, bassinets, and PLENTY of baby dolls but, unless Kate is with her or encouraging her, she has spent very little time paying attention or playing with these things.  And if she does pick up a doll, or pick up some crayons, it doesn't last too long.

Until now.

 

We seem to have had a bit of a breakthrough.  I noticed the other morning that she was not by my side and when I went looking for her I found her playing with her new dollhouse.  I was shocked she was playing BY HERSELF, but what was even more surprising is that this went on all morning long.  She had some "visitors" stop by and join her for a few minutes, but then they would leave and she just kept on playing.





 

Then a few days later she disappeared again.  This time she headed downstairs to our basement.  It is VERY rare she will go down there without me, so I was again surprised to find her playing with the dolls.  She was down there for over an hour.  I am not really sure what was going on between her and her dolls (she plays in silence  ... does not talk to them), but whatever it was she was really into it.

I have NO idea what was going through her head here, but she started moving chairs and I wasn't about to interrupt her.

Then the baby needed to be changed.  She even took the diaper up to the trash like she always sees me do with her diapers.

It is pretty cool to watch her begin to learn how to play and pretend like this.  These moments where she gets buys are still in the minority (following me is what she does the majority of the time), but I think she is on to something. I also believe that being in preschool two days a week is going to help her figure out how to play more.

Her language continues to improve, also.  She is really trying to talk, has tons of words, is starting to put several words together, and can communicate just about anything she needs with us. 

She is also playing better when we go out to parks. She loves to swing and slide and she will actually do these things on her own now. She continues to make such progress. 

We are pretty proud. 

Ballet, Preschool and 6 months together

It was a BIG week for Miss Vivian.  On Monday, she started ballet!  She was so excited for it and she did great. She was not quite so sure about it when she first went in, but luckily she could see me the entire time and she really got into it as the class went on.  It was so cute!!

 

 

Her class was in the morning and Kate had her class later that afternoon, after school.  When it was time for Kate to get ready Vivian insisted on puttting back on her ballet clothes and wanted to go again.

 

daddy with his ballerinas

 

 

Then on Thursday she had  her next big adventure:  PRESCHOOL!!!!  Yep, Vivian started school.

 

Rob and I decided a few weeks ago that we felt Vivian might be ready to try preschool. We have a preschool that we love.  It is the sweetest little school.  All 3 of my older children went to this school and I ADORE every teacher there and had complete confidence they would love and take care of Vivian.  Before enrolling her, I met with the director to discuss my concerns about sending her, and I took Vivian to visit the class she would be in.  After doing this, Rob and I felt she was ready to give it a try. We decided to sign her up for 2 days a week and see what happens.  We have been talking up school around here and when she woke up Thursday morning she was pretty excited to go.

 

 

 

The drop off went about as you would expect.  She cried.  But, I got a text shortly after from her teacher saying she was not crying anymore and was playing.  She sent me this picture

I picked her up early and while she cried when she saw me, she has been totally happy since and smiling and nodding when I ask her about her day.  When we picked up her siblings from school she kept telling them, "school", "school" and pointing to herself.  She seemed pretty proud of herself.  HOPEFULLY things will continue to go well. I really think being in preschool will benefit her in so many ways. 

We're pretty proud of all the new experiences she took on this week.  She's pretty awesome.

January marks 6 months that we have had Vivian.  In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday we were meeting in that hotel in China, but in other ways that seems like it was a lifetime ago.  It has been a life-changing 6 months for all of us.  A few nights ago Rob was getting the kids ready for bed and they were all playing and he told me our oldest commented, "For a minute I forgot Vivian was adopted".  Of course we never want to "forget", but I think he was verbalizing that feeling we all have that it is getting harder and harder to remember a time that she wasn't here. 

Happy 6 months sweet girl.

 

Our not-so-happy New Year

2013 did not end up the way we would've liked.

After a very merry Christmas, Vivian got sick.  Last weekend we took her to the doctor where she was diagnosed with an ear infection and the flu.

Things went downhill quickly from there. She was MISERABLE all weekend and by Monday evening we were headed to the ER because she was having a lot of difficulty breathing and running a very high fever.  After being evaluated by the doctors  and having a chest xray, she was  diagnosed with pneumonia.  We waited  from 10:00 pm until 4:00 am in the ER

not happy to see my girl in a hospital gown again

And then by 5:00 am Monday morning, after her oxygen levels dropped very low, we were admitted to the hospital

It was awful. Vivian was so sick and so pitiful.  She was put on oxygen and it took 3 tries to get an IV in. 

Hearing the news that Vivian was admitted, my parents (who had JUST returned home to Florida) got in the car and drove back up to help.  They went back and forth between supporting me at the hospital and helping Rob take care of the other kids and try to get some work done.  It was very helpful and reassuring to have them here.

It was a very long week. Vivian was scared and would not let me out of her sight.  She cried if I went to the bathroom (in our room) and cried when I tried to sleep on the "daybed" provided by the hospital.  Needless to say, sleeping in the hospital bed with her for several nights did not allow me much sleep. 

I did not even step foot out of the hospital room until the 3rd day, when I was close to losing my mind being cooped up in that room.  But, the kids came to visit several times and that helped and we had excellent care (again) by all of the doctors and nurses. 



 

 



Finally she turned a corner and we were allowed to come home.

Vivi and my dad at the EXIT!!

I was very bummed our xmas vacation ended this way.  I had great ideas of some fun things I wanted to do with my kids this week while they were still out of school, none of which ended up happening. Thanks to my mom and sister they got to do some fun activities, but we weren't all together.  Also, we ended up missing two parties I was really looking forward to, and last night we were supposed to be hosting friends for the Clemson bowl game (WHAT A GAME!) but had to cancel.  Given I am lacking in social activities these days, I was feeling pretty down about missing all of this.  On top of all of that, I am now sick and feeling  miserable.

BUT, I can end on a positive note b/c the cutest thing happened last night.  I made some soup for Vivi and I.  I finished mine and put my head down on the table b/c I was feeling bad.  She pulled my bowl over to hers and spooned out all of her soup into my bowl and pushed it back over to me.   Then, the blanket I had around me fell and so she hopped down, got the blanket and put it back on me.  It was so sweet:)  I like to think that, after taking care of her,  she was trying to take care of me.



"All the children who are held and loved will know how to love others….. - Meng Zi,